What women say they want VS what do women really want

If you ask most women what they want in a man, the vast majority will quite openly and honestly tell you exactly what qualities in a man that they find most pleasing.

Most women feel that they are not understood by men and modern mythology tends to paint women as unknowable to the opposite sex. If you ask both sexes, the answer you get will be very similar and that is that women think and behave in such radically different ways to men that there is no way that a man could properly understand them. This is a nice myth and serves to perpetuate the ‘us versus them’ mentality in relationships. It also helps the average woman to maintain an edge over men in a man’s world. Fortunately, that myth is just a myth. The average woman is as easy as understandable as the average man.

What women say they want is what they think they want. This may sound trite, but do not be misled. They say they want:

– Love and romance.

– Attentiveness.

– Affection.

– Security.

– Attractive man.

– Adventure.

– Good lover.

– Physical admiration.

– Sensitivity.

– A man in touch with his emotions.

– A trustworthy and faithful man.

This list is quite intimidating and daunting for most men. In reality, if the same demands were made of women they too would feel intimidated and daunted by these requirements.

Fortunately for you, this list is mostly a lie. While many of these things are desirable and nice to have, they are not what women really want. So forget all you think you know about what women really want and forget everything the media and women will tell you as well. It serves no purpose other than to confuse you, the man.

Now it’s time to find out what women really want.

This is the question we really want the answer to.

Women are not lying when they say what they want, things such as sensitivity, etc. because they truly believe that that is what they actually want. The problem is that our human mind can be very self-deceptive and in relationships of a sexual nature it is often. This goes for men and women, but our focus, of course, is on women.

Are you ready for the ultimate secret? Are you ready to understand the very depths of the female psyche? It is very tricky and difficult to understand. Ok, here it is in all its complexity.

Women want to feel special

That is all that there is to it. No more. Make a woman feel that she is the only person in the world that matters, and she is putty in your hands.

“But what about those men that women swoon over?”.  Well, that is really just an extension of the same thing but based upon what the women observe not on what they have received. Women will look at other women and their reaction to a man and base their opinion of him on what the women who “know” him seem to think. To them: “Obviously if those other women find him so desirable, he must make them feel so special and I want to feel that way.”

If you want proof of this and money is no object to you, pay two respectable and beautiful looking women to come to a party with you and fawn over you as though you are the greatest. Then watch how the other women in the room act towards you if you two women leave momentarily. Women may not know exactly what they want in a man, but they readily assume that if some other woman seems happy with a man then he must be desirable.

Therefore, the only thing left for you to do is to make at least one woman happy with you and you will see a cascade effect on other women.

Are you new to the game?

When two people get involved in a relationship of any kind, each must offer something to that relationship.

This applies to all relationships no matter what kind. Business, friendship, sexual and casual relationships all require each party to bring something to the table as it were. What we are talking about right now however is better sex. The interesting thing is that sex can be reached from all the above types of relationships and so it falls into a category of its own.

To get into the front door so to speak, you must offer what women think they want. Until your reputation proceeds ahead of you, you will need to get at least one woman to need you sexually.

If you have absolutely no idea where to start and your experience with women is very limited, then focus on the two things that women think they need the most. Confidence and romance. Romance is easy. Small presents, flowers an occasional genuine compliment all work wonders for initial contact and to persuade them that you are the one that they should consider. Confidence is a little trickier since most likely if you are limited in the sexual experience, you are limited in confidence. Fortunately, you can fake confidence and not many people can tell the difference.

The head position is straight and eyes are never looking down. Do not look below the neck of the woman you are speaking to in the beginning because she can take it one of two ways.

1. You are looking at her as a physical object and

2. You lack confidence and are uncomfortable looking at her eyes.

Both of these are negative and should be avoided. Your eye focus should move between her eyes and her throat focusing mainly on her eyes or just below them. Shoulders back and say what you wish to say and wait for a reply. This is important. Do not be coaxed into saying an unprepared thing because of uncomfortable silence. Let the discomfort fall upon her if she does not respond. Walk away in the same manner that you approached when you have accomplished what you intended.


You know a woman and like her but do not know how to start. Buy a flower. Not a rose as this implies love which you are not in a position to feel that way yet. A yellow or white carnation is fine or a flower in her favorite color if you know it. Approach her when she is either alone or with one female friend only. Walk up and present her with the flower. Keep your arm bent so that you move in closer and are imposing slightly on her personal space. This is what confidence looks like. Not too close, but the flower should be about 14 to 15 inches from your chest. Say something like: “Hi, this flower looked like it suits you, so I thought you should have it.” Smile, wait until she accepts it and if she doesn’t say much or stammers, simply say “Think nothing of it.” Turn confidently and walk away in the same manner that you approached.

This was just a small example of how you can appear to be confident when you are not. Each individual must make a style that suits them, but once the initial confidence is gained it just keeps on improving.

This article is written by licensed urologist Dr. Lorie G Fleck who is a highly qualified specialist. If you have any questions you can ask us through the feedback form and Dr. Lorie G Fleck will answer you within a working day. We care about every patient.

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