Male and female G-spot: myths and reality

“If I can find this magical place, then my woman will go crazy with delight!”

If you’ve had these thoughts, forget them. The short answer is that “the button” doesn’t exist – at least not in the way described above. We’re not robots with orgasm buttons, thank God, because think of the sensual delights we’d miss out on if such a button existed.

What is it?

The “g-spot,” or Gräfenberg spot, is a misnamed and often misunderstood area of a woman’s body.  The g-spot is not really a spot at all, but rather an area inside the vagina. The Gräfenberg spot is located about an inch or so inside the vagina on the upper wall (the “stomach side” rather than the “backside”) behind the pubic bone. In many women, this area feels bumpier than the rest of the vagina.

Be stimulated before stimulation

It is best to be aroused before attempting to locate the g-spot.  The increased blood flow and nerve arousal make this area more sensitive to pressure. Here are a few ways to stimulate the g-spot, and, if you use your imagination, you might be able to come up with even more.

Fantastic fingers

Fingers can bend and explore in ways that a penis can’t, so take advantage of this when exploring the vagina. An excellent way to stimulate an aroused g-spot is to make the “come hither” motion with one or two fingers inside the vagina. The g-spot response to pressure as opposed to light touch, so many women enjoy quite powerful upward strokes in this area.

Splendid sex toys

These days there are plenty of toys that are designed to stimulate her g-spot. These toys will have a distinct curve engineered to reach behind the pubic bone. Using a toy for g-spot stimulation may be the easiest method for many self-loving women. They’re fun for partners too.

Precise penises

There are some men out there whose penises are naturally curved to effectively stimulate the g-spot.  For those men who aren’t blessed with such a bend, here are some pointers.  Keep in mind the angle of the penis.  Position yourself slightly lower than the vagina, if she’s on her back, to enter her at an upward angle.  Then penetrate her vagina with shallow thrusts, about an inch or two in, stimulating the upper vaginal wall just behind the pubic bone with the head of your penis.  You may want to mix things up by doing two shallow thrusts for every deep thrust or one shallow and two deep – whatever lights your number.  And if you really want to put a smile on your lover’s face, add some clitoral stimulation to the mix!

The male G-spot?

Yes, men have a g-spot too! The male g-spot is usually referred to as the prostate gland. The prostate gland, like the female g-spot, is highly sensitive to sexual stimulation and many men report having orgasms from prostate stimulation alone!

Where do I find it?

The prostate gland is located inside the male body at the center of the pelvis behind the pubic bone. There are two main methods of finding and pleasuring the prostate gland. The first method involves stimulating the prostate by applying pressure to the perineum (the area between the scrotum and the anus). The second way to access the pleasures of the prostate is through the anus. Many cultural messages are out there stigmatizing men who gain pleasure from accessing the prostate in this way.

Before you begin

Many men don’t find prostate stimulation pleasurable until they are sexually aroused. It is best to already be aroused before attempting to find the male g-spot. Also, some men feel the sensation of having to urinate when pressure is applied to the prostate (it is located just under the bladder). To make sure this isn’t the case, urinate ahead of time so you know this sensation is not from a full bladder.

Getting started

Use plenty of lubricants when exploring this area of the body.  Be sure that your nails are cut short and don’t have jagged edges. Using latex gloves might also be a good idea because gloves can help you or your partner feel more comfortable and less inhibited during exploration.

The pleasures of the perineum

The prostate gland can be stimulated by applying direct pressure with your finger (or fingers) to the area between the scrotum and the anus called the perineum. Try applying pressure right in front of the anal opening. You may feel a large bump in the size and shape of walnut through the skin – this is your prostate. If you don’t feel your prostate or aren’t sure, that’s okay. Let your pleasure lead you. Try not to get caught up in “doing it right.”

Your partner and your prostate

Some men find prostate stimulation difficult (though not impossible) to accomplish on their own and appreciate the help of an enthusiastic partner. It’s a good idea to shower before this or any sexual activity. Partners appreciate this and it tends to help lower inhibitions to explore new and interesting parts of the body. Remember, if your partner is female, always wash anything that has come into contact with the anus before touching the vagina to avoid spreading bacteria and causing an infection. It’s also a good idea to be in a place where you can openly communicate with your partner and comfortably express your experience.

Me and my prostate

Masturbation can be intensified simply by massaging the prostate while stimulating the penis at the same time. Many men find the use of an anal toy helpful in achieving this blissful sensory experience. Several toys created specifically for prostate stimulation are currently available. Remember to always choose a toy with a flared base or one designed for anal play to prevent toys from accidentally slipping too far into the rectum. 

Trust your body

While exploring the g-spot, try not to live up to an expectation that something should feel good when it doesn’t. Trust your body, and remember to get and give plenty of feedback when with a partner.  If it doesn’t feel good, try something different, stop, or try again later. Remember – there is no wrong way to do this if everyone has a good time.

This article is written by licensed urologist Dr. Lorie G Fleck who is a highly qualified specialist. If you have any questions you can ask us through the feedback form and Dr. Lorie G Fleck will answer you within a working day. We care about every patient.

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